Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize