Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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