I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
