Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish I only lived at night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
