Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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