i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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