You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
