Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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