The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
