drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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