So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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