Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
