Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
