Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
