For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
