Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
