so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
