Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize