Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
