I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
