found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
