i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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