Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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