Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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