haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
