At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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