dude i'm inner monologue high
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
