Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize