Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need a burrito and a hug.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize