yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
