Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
