I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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