I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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