Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
