if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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