false alarm. still invincible.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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