Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize