we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
