I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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