I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
