Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
