My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
