You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
