Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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