she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
