Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
