I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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