Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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