fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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