We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
