Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
