At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
