I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
