as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
