office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
