Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
