I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
