remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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