What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
