Someone shit on the floor
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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