There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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