That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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