Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
