sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am available for nakedness
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
