so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
