I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
