If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
