I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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