We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
