Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
