hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
