when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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