Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
