He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
