I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He kissed a someone with a penis
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
only you would photoshop your dick
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
